Last Day Being a Tuition Teacher

" Our self-image determines what we become"

This is post is about one of my student. She is 10 and currently not doing well in Maths and Science.

Basically, there was an agreement between her mom and I to stop teaching her. I found the need to write about this because - 1. I believe before closing every chapter of my life needs to be reflected and ended very nicely. 2. It is actually a very interesting experience for me.

Let me first describe this student - the first time I taught her, I already knew she disliked something about tuition. It was either my teaching or the subject itself, Maths. After awhile, it got worst. She would drag her feet to the table where I was sitting waiting for her to start lesson. She would roll her eyes at every "Check your workings again" Her body language were so OFF that no matter how much you tried to get her to focus, it wouldn't work.

After 6 months teaching her, I was super confident she would ace her CA2 because she was doing quite well during tuition. She could answer every maths questions I gave. Even if it wasn't perfect, I knew that she would still pass. BUT THAT, WAS JUST WHAT I THOUGHT!

17/100

Results came in and it gave me THE BIGGEST shock of my life. I was wondering what was wrong. Even if she skipped only her Word Problems, it would still be a 30/100 range. And it hit me that MAYBE, she did it on purpose. Yes, call me crazy but I knew something was off. I tried to talk to her mom but she said she was too busy at work and needed my help to make her grades up again but at that point of time -I felt defeated. It was unexplainable to how a student from 85/100 went to 17/100. It got worst and worst till the point she threw tantrum as I was sitting waiting for her at the table. I watched her cry and whine, rolling on the floor. Refusing to do tuition. It was the last straw for me too. THE END Yesterday, I came to her house to find her mom at home waiting for me. We talked and she told me things about her daughter which really impacted me and gave me a chance to reflect upon certain things. Her mom told me with a shaky voice that her daughter told her "You are my mother why other people should teach me"This clearly showed a few things... 1. She wanted the attention from a mom. As a daughter who doesn't see her mom at home often, she needs her mom and I agree that I couldn't take up a responsibility as HER mom. I could not be tracking her studies while her mom wasn't there at home even though her mom truly cared. It showed me how important a mom's love is especially the times you need the care, love and support. Also, the days growing up, it is important to have such a support system. Losing all these from a young age would lead to a much more worse scenario which I pray many wouldn't have to go through.

2. She wasn't a thinking person. As a child, they question a lot because they are always thinking. Though it was not for me to judge or anything but usually, a child would wonder why their parents were not always home. Even if they were curious, they would have thought of answers that were positive. "Mom is working hard for me" "Mom needs to find money for the family" etc. This brings me to the next point...

3. Stubborn. This is what I assume from past experience being a kid. She wanted the attention thus she created situations to get what she wants. Failing exams without remorse (yes, i was informed that she didn't felt anything about it). Throwing tantrums. And finally when I bid goodbye to her, I could see her expression full of victory that she finally got what she wanted. She would do ANYTHING(!) to tarnish her future (long-term) to get what she wants now and then which I think shows she is not thinking so much. She follows her emotions and wants.

4. Pros and cons having such attitude. Let's start with the cons - at this moment, it will be worrying because she would lose friendship with this kind of attitude. Not many would like her and that was what her mom was already worrying about. She also loses somethings that might be good for her without her realising it. In the future, it could be the people she love. The cons about this is mostly growing up. She knows what she wants and wouldn't give up on it. Which is good for herself but not for others around her. She could strive independantly but surely won't be a good team player and in life, that is really important as people in adulthood will be very very nasty.

RELATABLE I understood why her mom told me that her daughter mentioned that we 'didn't have chemistry'. It might be one of her excuse for attention but also true by the way she acted around me. I understood her feelings as I was that child before growing up. However, I didn't turn out the best person to control my emotions. I think you know how like-poles repel (yups, I just thought my kids about magnets last week thus the reference)? Yes, that was both of us.

I hope for the best for her and things would actually work out between her mom and herself. It was my last day teaching her and now l will be focusing on my other students who will be taking their SA2 exams very soon. Phew, it's been a long time since I have written a long post and reflections like this but it felt really good. Alhamdulillah! Next post would be my Gratathon and hopefully I would post more reflections - I've been thinking so so much lately especially when I am not active on social media now. May Allah bless whoever is reading this (very few I guess or maybe none or maybe my future self). But I pray that things would go well and May Allah ease things for all of us. Aamiin!

thepinkrosette