$1 at a time...

"Growth & comfort do not coexist"

Heyyyy am I back to blogging 4 times a month?? *grins* Anyhow, I wanted to blog about something else but I felt like the vibe was too strong, gloomy and negative. I didn't want such vibes to be on my blog forever so I decided why not talk about something else.

I've been thinking much lately. Let's start from A to Z...You know how we started as a person who NEEDS to reach a certain expectations. Be it from our parents or ourselves. We created this list of #goals and "what I want to be when I grow up" when we were young. We were carved in a way that we should hold high paying jobs - doctor, engineer, teacher, pilot etc. But no one told us that, when we are actually all grown up, we might change our goals and dreams.

And, what we want as a kid, should not have been the ONLY GOAL for when we are old. Our minds mature and what we thought of 20 years ago, might not be the same now. We grew up thinking there is only one path carved for us when there were actually many hidden branches of path hidden.

RUNNING FROM EXPECTATIONS

As I keep running away from expectations, I chose to keep running towards what I feel was right - chasing reality. Chasing MY reality. The reality is,... my dream wasn't what was expected out of me. What was expected out of me was their unfulfilled dreams. My dream was only discovered after years and years later when I did some self-discovery and soul searching.

No one told me "it is okay to learn one thing and do something else as a career". What I got was, "you took degree in Biomedical Science? That's so wasted. You are not working in that field..." EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Pressurised by all the talk, I keep going back to it. Till when would I keep to that path when there are actually better things out there for me to discover? Just because I chose this path at an age I was clueless, I had to stick with it all my life? Or break free and discover what I really am passionate about?

Let's also talk about fate. If I was fated to be there, I would have gotten a job after millions of job application and maybe 5 interviews. But I didn't. "COVID19 is here, shouldn't medical industry is keen to hire people?" But that is just fictional, for me. The real truth is, it is still hard to find a job wherever you are. Or maybe, it's just not written and meant for me.

ONE DAY, I WANT TO...

I was in the car with N and I told him, "I miss going Cambodia and just experiencing the lives of people there. Helping them. Seeing them happy." I miss that and I needed that again. I needed to feel like wealth doesn't matter. I needed to feel like living simple actually meant contentment. I need to feel like this world is only temporary.

I added, "what if one day we get more rezki, we could go there. Or even start up a charitable organisation?" He smiled and said, "why not, start now? You can donate $1 each time." and I said, "yeah"

Even if that $1 was only 20% of what I had left in my bank account, I hope that one day it grew to be thousands so I could help more. I could live life happy doing what I loved to do, at the same time, help people too. In shaa Allah. I would work hard to be there feeling I have done enough for the community. One day at a time, and if it's meant for me to get that contentment people chase for, I will get there. In shaa Allah.

May Allah s.w.t. bless us with contentment. May Allah s.w.t bless us with abundance rezki, love and health. May Allah s.w.t shower us with great intelligence and iman. May Allah s.w.t. guide us always to His path and guide us to be a better muslimah day by day. Aamiin. ♡

thepinkrosette