Failures + Maulidur Rasul

" If you are not willing to fail, you are not ready for success"

(I actually wrote this before the previous post - Challenges. But I realise that despite challenges after challenges, there will always be THAT setback and failures. Thus, I decided why not I post this following the previous post. That would flow even better. However, this post did not have an ending so I will actually end it during the present day. Thus, this post is written on 2 different days.)

Ma shaa Allah,it is funny how I am feeling a mixture of excited yet nervousness at this hour. Let me talk about FAILURES now at 1 A.M. I accidentally took a nap after magrib just now and I am now wide awake! Have you ever felt like you are so done with failures and you really want the next thing in mind to work out? I am so desperate, Ya Allah. There have been consistently failures in my life which have brought my mind to places that is not healthy. There was even once I kept asking myself "why do I fail at life?" And why did I ask myself that? Just because I am not successful and I haven't reached my goal or dreams.

However, the twist - I love the feeling of failing because imagine if I will ALWAYS PASS AT EVERYTHING and GET EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED EASILY, there isn't a challenge to life and it is as good as saying that you are living in Heaven where everything is PERFECT. I would be complacent and lazy. I wouldn't have this DRIVE in me to go all out and to keep trying to do better and better and better. This is me now and all the adrenaline is making me excited yet so nervous.

Alhamdulillah, imagine just the start of October, I was in pain and fear. I did not know how to move on with such unbaring thoughts but now, I am all geared up to do my best and to do what I love. After acceptance, it is like Allah s.w.t lifting me and telling me that you know what? Despite all the failures, Allah will give one success. But its not a REALLY HUGE one because a HUGE success to me would be the end of life - Heaven.

Sometimes, I just need a little more faith (We all do!). And I feel that it starts within us. If we choose to believe our plans will fail, it will. However, if we choose to believe that our plans WILL WORK, it will (with His permission and guidance). I also learnt that we should always ask from Allah s.w.t for help and always always always ask forgiveness from Him before asking. SUPER IMPORTANT!!

(At this point, I ended the post and will be continuing this post in present context. I will be opening another topic in relation. Be prepared for a lengthy post!) I am recovering from stomach flu. It is one of the WORST weeks being sick. I couldn't move. I felt like vomiting 20/24. Non-stop diarrhea. Just felt 'shitty' physically. I even asked myself why do good people will always face challenges and failure so often while the bad are always receiving good things in life. Whenever I feel this way, I always remember of our Prophet s.a.w.

Was his life 100% all smooth and easy? NO Did he not have any challenges? NO But was he happy with life? YES But why? Because he was so close to God that he felt that it was worth it. Every single setbacks and downfall, he KNEW good things were coming. He KNEW, Allah s.w.t was going to reward him with ABUNDANCE of other things especially in the akhirat. He KNEW that and Allah s.w.t has promise him and all of us in Surah Al-Baqarah Ayat 155, 'And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient' And this ayat is so special because we THINK we might know what we want but Allah s.w.t knows BETTER. We thought that having career A is best for us but suddenly He actually guides us to career B and in the end we feel SUPER SUPER happy being in career B. We try so hard for something that WE THOUGHT is best for us but in the end, it wasn't. If you really think about it, there is no shortcut to having good tidings in life. We always have to go through some form of difficulty to get it. If not, how would you know that good tidings is worth it? It's like a competition, you have to put in your best effort to get No. 1. That is how you feel that being the champion is WORTH IT! If you did not put any effort and you suddenly won, something is wrong somewhere right? Maybe you bribed that person and it leads you to something bad already. You wouldn't feel you truly deserved it because at the end of the day, you didn't strive for it.

I think this goes back to the topic of 'always failing'. At the end, when you really succeed and you look back at all the failures and setbacks, you smile to yourself saying, 'It was all worth it'. This is also why I LOVE TO BLOG. One day if I already achieved my goal, I would want to read all these failures and challenges back and tell myself that, "See~, everything is worth it." In shaa Allah.

May Allah s.w.t. bless all of us with success and give us strength to go through challenges in life. Aamiin!

thepinkrosette