Goodbye 2018 - Part 1

" We don't grow when things are easy, we grow when we face challenges"

It's 40 minutes past midnight and I promise myself to finish up this (maybe super long~) post before I head to bed.

My 2nd last post for 2018 and also my 51st post. I can't believe I actually did post every week in 2018. Blogging really helped me reflect on everything and anything that bothers me. It helped me composed myself so much. I felt calmer after reflecting and this is exactly what I need to move on easier to the next phases in life. Yes, that's my favourite mechanism which helped me through 2018 - moving on. This is also what N always remind me when I keep on complaining about the same thing over again. Every trial and challenges I faced in 2018 which made me feel like dying, I remind myself to just stay strong, get through it, then move on.

2018 was just amazing and I felt that being 21 was the ultimate transition of me being a teenager to a young adult. Although it takes time, 2018 FORCED me to grow fast mentally.

First quarter of 2018: THE START OF CHALLENGES

Started the year with lots of falsehood and literally hearing people talking bad about me but I reminded myself that if I had wanted to get through this phase, I had to blog to block all the negativity I ever heard.

It was also the time when I got a really bad news about one of my family member which had to go 'away' for a few months. However, I feel it was such a blessing in disguise. Alhamdulillah.

Second quarter of 2018: THE TOUGHEST I struggled quite a lot with adapting to the new situation. Had many emotional breakdowns and anxiety attacks. Broke a broom and my phone because I couldn't control what I was feeling. My emotions were all over. It wasn't easy. I had zero support with whatever is going on. Plus people still backbiting about how bad I am just because my family is 'bad' and all the nonsense going on. No one literally helped me except for a few - MNSS, NAB, NSS, CXT. Namely these four were my pillar of strength throughout this year. #Blessed #YouKnowWhoYouAre #FirstLettersOfYourNames #IfYouStillDontKnow #JustKidding

Lost many friends because they weren't so understanding and we had different mindset and frequency. I didn't regret a single thing about it because to me, true friendships are just like relationships. You need so much trust and understanding to build it. Without all those, it won't work. Once again, I felt everything was a blessing in disguise as those friends were too toxic to begin with and the list can go on but I won't dwell on it so much.

Moving on, my grandaunt passed away and it was one of the hardest yet calming feeling I ever felt. I knew it was best for her and she's going back to the All-Knowing, who am I going to kid with right? Why should I be worried if the All-Loving is taking care of her every single time? She's such a great person and will always be one of the most precious family members in my heart.

Third quarter of 2018: GETTING BACK UP & ACHIEVING A frequent visit to the prison was very eye-opening for myself. As a person who believes that there is good somewhere in everyone, it wasn't a place I could feel scared but more of a sense of hope. Everyone hoped for the better and hoped for a good change - it was just a very nice feeling. I would have felt so encouraged if I had the same amount of hope given to me. Really touching.

At this point, I got to control my emotions better. I got to prioritise things better. I got to see things in a totally different perspective - very much more positive thinking and this is the most PROUDEST thing I am for myself.

To have to go through tough times +1

To go through it alone with only a few supporters +1 To block out negativity from other people +1 To have self-control and controlling emotions +1 To stay focus on whatever I needed to achieve +1

And that is when, I stepped onto the finish line, done with my Degree in Bachelor of Biomedical Sciences. In one year FULL of tough situations, I managed to keep up and get my degree.

Last quarter of 2018: NEW SPIRIT & PRODUCTIVITY

There is no point sulking or complaining about something because the time could be used on something more productive - which alhamdulillah, my first 'baby' was born, Crunch 'N' Quench (CNQ). After working for 2 months, I spent the rest of the year on baby CNQ. My heart, soul, energy and time was solely just about baby CNQ. Sleepless nights thinking of ideas, doing up and designing posters, liaising here and there - it was very productive.

I am definitely a different person than I was at the start of 2018 and at the end of last year, 2017. 2018 is one of the most meaningful years, apart from the 2013-2014 period (which maybe I should talk about that next time).

NEXT POST - I would share about the top 10 things 2018 taught me and future plans for 2019, In Shaa Allah.

Till then, I pray that everyone is in good health and how bad 2018 may be, let's all pray that 2019 will be a year full of wonderful things to learn to make us a wiser person. ♥

thepinkrosette