Different perspectives

" Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different"

Let's start with another story that happened last 3 days...

I was with my friends and we talked about a Korean girl who lost 110 pounds or about 50kg. So the conversation continued like this... Me, "So, to lose weight we need to have a strict diet." S, "No. She (the Korean girl) didn't have a strict diet. She just decreased her food intake."

SO THIS WAS WHERE IT GOT CONFUSING. Because in my perspective, the Korean girl had a strict diet because she had a lot of rules... 1) Drink lots of hot water (3L-5L) 2) Don't eat salty 3) Eat the smallest amount of rice 4) More protein and etc. She has her meals planned out every Sunday and she had to follow what she planned and not to eat anyhow she likes. But S kept on insisting that her diet wasn't strict because she still ate 3 times a day.

IT GOT ME CONFUSED EVEN MORE!

Because other known strict diets are also eaten 3 times a day! So basically S tried to explain to me, even more, saying that strict diet is when you eat "one thing only" per meal. In my head, I was still thinking about my perspective on strict diet and I did not get why it was not known as "strict diet". (I'm sorry guys, don't mind me because I'm still new to all these.) It basically ended up with an "argument" which made S said to me, "I give up on you, I hold the white flag already." So, I asked another opinion about it from N. I just asked N a simple question, "What is a strict diet?" and N answered with such a simple answer saying "Strict diet means you only eat a certain food and abstain from certain food. Cutting down food portion is eating in moderation."

AND THAT INSTANT, I UNDERSTOOD. IT WAS A SHORT AND SIMPLE ANSWER THAT SOLVED THE WHOLE "ARGUMENT"!

I explained to S what went wrong - why I did not understand S explanation and what was in my head. But S insisted that was the exact thing she said and ended the conversation with a, "We have a different frequency."

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What can I learn from incidents like this? (By the way, some of the points are very general. I'm not saying for all the points, S is like this or I was acting this way. But this is what I observe and realise in this kind of situations where a discussion turns into arguments.)

1) We all have different perspectives All of our brains work differently. Sometimes, we think differently because we might not be on the same page as someone else OR we are on the same page just that we are on different paragraphs.

This reminded me of a riddle which I thought had only one answer (which was mine) but when I saw the comments, there were a few other answers other people thought of! (SCROLL TILL THE END FOR ANSWERS)

2) Doesn't mean someone doesn't agree with your opinion or vice versa, they are wrong and you are right, vice versa Sometimes, both opinions are correct! It's just that the way you phrase your words and how you think and see things differently makes that disagreement or argument present. But if you realise, both of you are talking about the same thing just in different "languages" or putting it in different words/perspective.

3) Communication is very important When S gave up on explaining to me, I felt devastated. You know the feeling of unfinished business to be discussed on. There wasn't a FULLSTOP or closure to the topic. It's like when you are in a relationship, communication is important for the other party to understand what is YOUR perspective and where you are coming from. Don't ever leave someone hanging just because they did not understand YOUR perspective. Keep on trying other ways to explain to them especially when the other party does not understand and still wants to put in the effort to think and understand your perspective. 4) Always keep an open mind When discussing facts with people, start with an open mind. If not, leave the conversation if you think you know everything and if you are not ready for disagreements, not ready to hear different views and if you are REALLY REALLY lazy to explain yourself to others. If someone explains something against your opinion, try to reason yourself out and give a chance to the other party to reason themselves out. By which, both of you conclude what is the best solution or answer. Try to take both opinions positively and take what is the good in each opinion. 5) Knowledge is not about understanding but being able to explain and make people understand too Remember how our mathematics teachers always say, "Try to teach others. If other people understand what you taught them, it means that you understand the methods to solve the problems too." Because, if you are particularly unsure of a topic, you would not know how to explain it. The information is very vague in your head. However, if you really know something well, you are able to explain it is simple terms, easy for everyone to understand it.

6) More doesn't mean right For example, if you are in a group of 5 discussing a topic, be ready to accept everyone's opinion. EVEN THOUGH, its 4 vs 1, always seek the explanation of that one person who disagrees with the other four. Never leave anyone out to be on the same page with the rest and never miss a chance for that one person to speak out their thoughts or opinion because that one person's different opinion could be better than the other four. You never know!!

I hope that whenever we are in a discussion, we don't get lost in our own thoughts. I pray that we are protected from such discussions that end with a fight or argument which could cause tension in relationships. I also pray that we become more understanding and open-minded individuals who are willing to open up to new ideas and opinions. I also pray that we will all be patient individuals who would take time to explain what is the right facts to others who did not get it. And for those who are constantly being "shut" off, there will be a blog post for you soon. ♥

(Answers: 8-4=4, 5+4=9, 0+4=4 and maybe many more...)

thepinkrosette