Decisions

" A wise man makes his own decision, an ignorant man follows the public opinion"

I really love to write during the night especially when it's raining in the evening nowadays. So, by night time it would be colder as usual and it's quiet, very calming. This week is my holiday week and my only goal for this week was to give myself a good break and try to spend the time to reflect on things. We all need those constant reflection time to renew certain intentions and replan some short-term goals. Last 4 months ago, on my 21st birthday, you know how wishes get all cliche and everything? However, there was one wish and it was from my aunt that made me ponder now. She said, "Time to make wise decisions for yourself." I did not really understandd it then until months after months passed and I am starting to understand it. It was not only about making a wise decision, it was also for myself - what was best for me.

Those older than me could relate to this - at this age, magic number 21, there are so many things going on. We have friends still studying, friends who just got engaged, friends who just got married, friends who are pregnant, friends who already have a child - IT IS SO CRAZY?! And I can't imagine how would it be for years to come... Actually what brought me to this topic was because of how I realised I've changed a lot for the past few years. I realised that making fun of others wasn't a funny thing or a joke to me anymore, time is TOO precious to even do nothing, setting priorities is SUPER DUPER important, trying to fix something that won't work because you know you have to fix it because it is SUPER important, spending money wisely (needs > wants), filtering the people around you and cherishing those who cherish you, putting 100% effort in everything no matter how bad the outcome would be - you just want to keep trying your best, CLOSE family opinion does matter but not outsiders (unless it is really useful and meaningful advice) and, etc.

WOW. And to think about this, this is just the start of adulthood. Also, recently there were arguments and misunderstanding between my friends and me which caused me to lose a few close friends. However, I was reminded of Aida Azlin's new video. In her recent vlog on Tuesday, she talked about how people would leave your life at some point of time and new people would enter - so I guess well, coming from someone 9 years older than me, I was the one being so dramatic and butthurt about how people left my life so easily. How people you thought was close to you and WILL ACTUALLY stick with you at your worst actually left and WAS SO DONE with you when you really showed your true colours and your worst. (I feel long friendships always lasted because we are hiding our true self to others but if you have shown your true self and your friends still cherish you, they are keepers. Salute!)

I also wanted to filter the people around me once it gets so toxic for myself even though I was actually inflicting it on my own self (I hope this makes sense?). We tend to cherish people so much that we don't want to let go but in actual fact, letting go is the art of loving. Weird right? Today, I realise that one day I would definitely lose my friends some way or another. We are all grown adults and our life would definitely have a different route. We will all have a different understanding, different ways to approach a matter, and it will all end up in a disagreement which causes a separation. Soon, we will all get married and have our own priorities with our families. As much as I love my friends, I have to let them go and some point of time and stop hoping that things will still be the same. To make myself feel better, I stopped talking to my friends around my age and I texted someone much older (someone who is also 9 years older), Kak A for advice and this was what she said,...

And about letting go and priorities...

Ma shaa Allah, and it made me felt so relieved and calm about whatever was happening. Think wisely about your decisions. I always believed in the 5 by 5 rule, "If it's not gonna matter in 5 years, don't spend more than 5 minutes upset by it."

I pray that everyone at some point in time realise the meaning of being wiser and to finally come to a realisation about the things that matter more. ♥

thepinkrosette