The slander feller

" The only thing you should be doing behind someone's back is to make prayers for them"

Things have been quite difficult lately, mainly this week. There were so many unexpected news, so many things I wasn't expecting. But as humans, who are we to predict what is coming for our future right?

I have always wanted to write about something that has been hurting me or maybe everyone. During this one week, there were MANY MANY things that triggered me to talk about this. Firstly, was a news that I found out only this morning that made me in shock. This issue is very personal which I can't share it right now but maybe in the future.

Also, a few days ago, I bumped into my best friend, Y. I felt really really happy because I've been wanting to meet her. We didn't make plans because we have been busy with our own work/studies. But I (lowkey) was really missing her. I even shared with her a funny video on twitter the day before I bumped into her. And what was amazing was that, on THAT DAY, I ended my lab session unexpectedly SUPER late and I was complaining (omg, I really need to stop). Ma shaa Allah, the All-Knowing has it all planned, He made me meet my best friend when we didn't even plan to do so. While we catch-up and talked in the MRT on the way home, Y have been through many "drama" phases of my life and talking to her feels so calming for me at the same time it triggered a few bad memories. I have been wanting to talk about this ever since the start of the year and I have been mentioning it in my previous blog posts - slandering.

Have you guys been in a situation that you heard from a good friend or someone really close to you (you trust them that they don't lie or they do things just to hurt you) tells you that SOMEONE ELSE talks bad about you being (this and that) which is NOT EVEN TRUE? And it doesn't occur only once but twice or even maybe so many times?

And then in your head, you get so mad - it goes, "Why don't they just say it in my face??!!!??" or "What did I EVER do to them to say such things about me??!!??"

Well hello, because you are not alone and I know that I am not alone too. Ever since I shared my stories with my close friends (which I really trust), they came to me asking for advice. How do I actually manage these people or even "the situation" of being slandered? And I thought that I was the only one who was surrounded by such people - but no. Surprisingly, it is a norm to actually talk ill about others and it doesn't stop there. Talking ill about others behind their backs and what is worst is, IT IS NOT EVEN TRUE! (oh my goodness that's like a triple threat - talk ill, behind their backs, untrue)

First and foremost, I remind myself to always always always check myself first. Before complaining about the bad things others have done to you, always check back your own attitude. Am I also doing the same as them? Am I any better? Have I done such things too? Have I said untrue things about others that made me receive this situation as a learning lesson? If yes, it is time to change.

If the answer is no and you are really lost, or you have no idea what is happening or you confidently feel like nope, I don't even communicate with them that often, why would they say such things about me? Then my advice is to just think good of them and let it go. But your mind will be thinking that IT HURTS, how can I keep quiet? I need to prove to them I am not all that. Trust me, just keep quiet and let it go. Don't scold them or approach them in anger and start a fight. It won't stop them to even think ILL or BAD about you. Like what Selena says, "kill 'em with kindness". Be the good one because everyone loves the good people.

I might not know the reason behind the minds of the slender feller but trust me, it's not worth your time figuring it out. It doesn't matter what their motive is, you don't have to know. There are better things out there which you can put your energy and time on. Like what I talked about in my first post, JUST FOCUS ON YOURSELF AND YOUR SUCCESS. Spending time with the people you love, going out for adventures, working and studying hard and pleasing Our Creator and the list goes on.

What if that person is a really really good friend of mine and I am scared of losing him/her? This question comes with things to consider - the situations and conditions. Because if you stay, SOME PEOPLE DO CHANGE ONCE. If you continue to be good to them, they start to realise how good you are even though they have been backbiting you over and over again. You are still there for them even though they talk badly about you. But this takes lots and lots of patience.

However, if this does not work, then its time to reflect back what kind of friend you are making friends with. Are they really the right people for you? Are those really called "friends" if they are nice in front of you but talks the opposite behind you? Or maybe that is one of the reasons that you should really let go of that friend because he/she doesn't bring any good but just negativity and disturbance in your mind.

Leave, don't hate and hurt them back by doing the same. Pray for them to change. And last but not least, don't let it affect you so much because He knows the truth about you and that is all that matters.

I pray that we will all not be the slander feller and we are protected from people who talk ill and untrue things about us. Ameen. May Allah s.w.t. ease everyone's affairs too. Pray for me and my family whoever who is reading, I would appreciate it. ♥

thepinkrosette